Say Less, Praise More.
This marks the first year I haven't held an official wrestling coach role since 2017. Over the weekend, I found myself glued to a live stream, observing one of my former athletes in action. Despite no longer being his coach, we maintain a strong connection, talking weekly throughout the season. Seated comfortably at my kitchen table, I couldn't escape the nervous tension as he checked in and stepped onto the mat.
Engaged in a challenging Christmas tournament where the competition is formidable, this athlete has a knack for nail-biting matches. Often winning in the final moments, he possesses an uncanny ability to turn the tide. This match unfolded similarly; trailing by one with just 15 seconds remaining, an illegal move by his opponent earned him a crucial point, leveling the score. Overtime ensued, and with a well-executed shot, he clinched the win, propelling him to day 2.
In my mind, a flurry of coaching advice surfaced—keep your head up, stay focused, refine the front head lock technique, intensify the hand fight. Aware that bombarding him with critiques wasn't the way to go, I caught myself typing a message of congratulations. "Great job! The sucker drag is their all day (I move from the front headlock)." However, I restrained myself. Recognizing the effort he put into winning his match, I opted for a simpler message: "Way to dig deep, I'm proud of you! Have fun tomorrow." His response, "Thanks, Coach. I'm excited about tomorrow." It struck me—this is what it's all about. A 17-year-old finding joy and excitement in competition, no elaborate commentary needed.
A valuable reminder for coaches and leaders alike: the inclination to critique is perpetual. We yearn for our athletes and colleagues to excel, grow, and learn. Trust in their development. Save the constructive feedback for when it's most constructive. So, the next time your wrestler steps off the mat, consider celebrating the effort. A simple, "Way to compete, I'm proud of you," might be all they need. For more insights on giving feedback, you can read an article I wrote earlier on the subject. Wishing you a wonderful week ahead.
PS. The AI generated thumbnail picture was too hilarious not to use.
Much Love,
JB